HOT TOPIC!!

Hi-ya, Readers! First I must apologize for my very looooong absence. I am currently preggers again and have been having a rather grumpy pregnancy. Meaning, I haven't had much nice to say (crazy pregnancy hormones!) so I have been keeping it to myself. I figured there was already more than enough venom being spewed on any number of topics and constantly being offered on the internet or over mainstream media sources (especially with a pending election in November). Sometimes the modern age of information makes me tired and disheartened.... It is easy to lose perspective in the face of so much ultimately useless and negative information which seems to be constantly flooding our collective consciousness....see? there I go! Anyway, point being I would like to chime in on the latest "hot topic" (which in itself is a bit ridiculous since this debate has been raging since women's liberation began but whatever): Can Women Really Have It All? Meaning can working mothers have it "all"? In my experience: NO. Or maybe I should put it this way: You can have it all, just not all at the same time. You will always feel like one of the important balls is getting dropped and you are not doing all things (work/family/self care/friendship/etc.) as well as you like to. This is actually a topic that has been on my mind quite a bit recently (even before the t.v. and internet let my know I should be thinking about it! Can you believe it?!) as my due date approaches. What happens next? What will happen when this excitedly anticipated baby comes? Should I just quit working and stay at home with my kiddos? Is this even a possibility? There is a lot to consider..... I remember when I had my first son and I thought I would return to work after 6 weeks of maternity leave, no problem. I was so WRONG. Lucky for me I work at a place and have a boss (a mom herself) that were incredibly understanding and flexible and I didn't lose my job when I asked to take the whole leave. Not only was I not at all ready to return to work at 6 weeks, my baby was certainly not ready for it either (and the daycare I had lined up would not even take him until he was 3 months old anyway). He still needed all of me every day and I couldn't imagine not being there. I think about my experience and feel great compassion for the new CEO of Yahoo, Marissa Mayer. She has NO IDEA what she is in for or how her heart (and maybe sanity) will break into a million pieces when she tries to leave her newborn after 2 weeks to return to work (much less "work through" her very short maternity leave). I hope she will change her mind and stay home with her baby because they will need that time together but if she doesn't I can assure you she will not feel like she "has it all,". In her heart of hearts, regardless of the public face she puts on, she will feel like a terrible mother (and I am sure there will be plenty of nasty critics out in the blogosphere who will be all too happy to tear her apart for it - after all, mommy bashing seems to be one of our favorite modern sports). All that being said, I can see the concerns that her decision has the potential to be detrimental to how taking maternity leave may be viewed in the future by some bastard employers(who were likely unaccommodating or grudgingly accommodating to begin with where maternity leave is concerned). Do I think it will set a precedent that could undermine the entire future of maternity leave or negate the gains that have been made for working mothers in this country? Unlikely, but I would say 3 things: 1.) I think the media hysteria surrounding the whole thing is just another example of how ridiculously litigious our culture has become (setting a "precedent" is important in terms of court rulings: her decision to return to work is NOT a court ruling). -AND- 2.) I think that in some ways this may be just another example of the conservative backlash/war on women's rights that seems to happening in this country right now - but I won't even get into that right now as that is a very future long post in and of itself. -AND- 3.) Unfortunately, it seems that civil rights of all kinds seem to be up for debate these days in this country which means we all have to take some responsibility for making our voices heard when these rights are challenged. If you feel passionately about something then let your voice/vote/opinion be heard.... Sign petitions, go to protests/rallies, write your Congressman, support organizations that fight to protect these rights.... Of course, I realize that if you are working mother than #3 might be the ball that gets dropped from time to time. Just make sure you pick it when you can. Then you can feel like a good citizen AND a good mother - it often seems to me that being a good Mom involves a lot of

teaching by example...