The State O' My Union

The weird thing about getting married so fast is that you don’t really have a frame of reference for a lot things about your partner because you are still learning about each other/getting to really know each other in certain ways. This is good and bad. It is kind of exciting and exhausting to think that we still have so much to learn about each other. Even just learning how to negotiate each other’s moods and feelings and fighting styles is a bit of mystery sometimes. For example do you push a topic or give someone space when they seem like they don’t want to talk about something? Some people need to be pushed to get things out, some people will come back to you to talk about a painful/loaded subject after having a little time to sort it out in their own head. Sometimes it can go either way. I know that for myself – sometimes I need to be pushed and sometimes I need space. I also know that being married also lends a certain gravity to things – like I don’t ever want to let anything fester because I can see how easily it can happened and being really lifelong committed to someone means you have to work harder on things even if you don’t always want to. I know that in my single days relationships ended because communication stopped and the relationship either didn’t seem worth the trouble of digging things up or neither one of us had the balls to do it. I also don’t ever want to take my husband for granted or be taken for granted because I again can see how easily it can happen and it can be death to a relationship. I want this ship to last to weather all the storms and palmy weather in the future. The rest-of-our- lives-future is a tall order and a scary thing but also well worth the work.